There’s so much to confuse me; so much to distance me from myself.
I can’t express how lost I feel when my own mind challenges what I believe in my heart. It’s tit for tat. I can find a positively reinforced argument for why I should have faith, but I could also find an equally ‘reasonable’ argument for why God might not even exist… With the internet, thousands of years of history, and billions of interpretations on one subject, you can find a ‘reasonable’ argument for anything. So I decided, “I won’t let simple confusions detract from my life’s work to God’s glory.” I decided to find God without needing to convince myself that I have found Him.
In Romans chapter 12, Paul writes about proving what is the good, acceptable, and perfect will of God. Who do you suppose you should be proving this to? God? No, because he knows it already. Should you be proving to others what God’s perfect will is? Well… yes, but how can you teach something that you cannot yet fully understand? So first, you must prove to yourself what God’s will for you is. Paul writes that in order to attain this proof, you must be transformed.
Why do you need to be transformed? I needed to be transformed because I had tasted God’s goodness and at some point, I let it fall from my life. I could not bear it so I needed to live my life by God’s plan, and in order to do so I had to change my life. God changes lives- I believe that, but much like a car can change your life, it won’t do so by sitting in the driveway. You have to choose to make it work for you and use it. So I chose God. I made that choice in my mind.
I make choices everyday and they are a reflection of what I think, which is a reflection of who I am, according to Proverbs 27. If who I am is conformed to this world (today’s culture, today’s popular news, etc.), then my thoughts will be evil, and my actions will be evil regardless of my intentions because, “The carnal mind is enmity against God” Romans 8:7. I cannot please God without having a renewed mind, because my un-renewed mind cannot understand the law of God (which nowadays is grace and life through Jesus).
For renewal, I do a few things. Most importantly, I read verses like Romans 12:2, 2 Corinthians 5:17 and really all of Romans chapter 8, and I meditate on them. I pray that God will make the message verses evident to me as he sees fit. I confess them out loud to tell my body and mind what it will do. I exercise luke 6:45 (out of the abundance…) by believing, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that God has only good for me. I desire not only to be renewed in my mind, but to go as far as to be completely spiritually minded. Through all of this renewal I find my daddy God and make it a daily celebration that I know in whom my life is complete.
Then, with my renewed mind, I don’t have to wonder who my Father is. I know Him, personally, and He completes me.
“For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace” 1 Cor. 14:33
Thank you for your love and support
God Bless you