Consumed|Baptized Pt. 2

It is my prayer to be consumed by God.

I want to look around and see nothing but him. When you look around what do you see? If you are baptized in his spirit, everywhere you look, you should see Him. You should see his love, his works, and his spirit. If your whole being is not entirely in him, then how can you know where you are? If you see him only from a distance, how can you know where He really is? If you look up from your day’s work, then you should know where he is – He will always be as near to you as you will beckon Him to be. If you want him near you, call him. He is an awesome God, and he knows you. He KNOWS you and he loves you and he wants you to be near to him. Submerge yourself entirely in everything that He is, for he cannot help you if you are not completely baptized in him.

Allow yourself to become consumed by the flame of his Holy Spirit and the courage of his Love. Cry out to him in mourning, and rejoice in victory. Boldly approach His throne from which he reigns in Love.

He will not force you into his love, nor into his presence. He invites us, and he calls us, absolutely, but it is nothing more than an invitation, a call. You have to RSVP, you have to answer the call. You have to exercise the free will that he gave you and jump into everything that He is.


You are Good | Rambling

Heads-up this is not a normal blog-I'm just rambling.

Always good. Always good, always good. From before time you are good. You are good. You do not do good. No, you are good.  Always good.

How can I expect to do anything of note without you? Again i reiterate this sentiment. Will anything I do ever be good less you? Without you what can I do? All I know is… I know what I was and I know what I am. I am your son. Remember, “who am I?” I am you beloved, I am adopted into your family, your being, your everything. I am an heir to your kingdom. Even as I work for your kingdom, I am an heir to your kingdom. I am an heir to everything you have, which is everything. Everything is… Everything. You cannot ever gather everything. Even assuming your resources were infinite, in gathering one thing you miss an opportunity to gather something else (aka opportunity cost). God has no opportunity cost, and he uses this marked advantage to get to us what we need. God is not selfish with his resources. What do you think? “God’s going to have a 3-hour blackout in heaven and pass the savings off to you?” or maybe “he’ll lay off some of the angels? UH-UH!” 

My concern is not whether God is on our side; my greatest concern is to be on God’s side, for God is always right.
– Abraham Lincoln 

Therefore, where God will go I will go. What you, Lord, wish I will also wish. Pray. Pray. Pray. Pray. Not “address a solemn request or expression of thanks to a deity or other object of worship.” Never that kind of pray. Our God, my God, is like no other, therefore we cannot do with our God what others can do with their gods. For we will not forget who he is and what he’s done for us. The world sees and soon forgets, but we will not forget what he’s done for us. How could we ever forget who you are, because you are good. So good. 

You are my God. You are my God. You are eternal and self-existent. You have been from before time. And you have determined what will be and what will not, yet mysteriously you allow us free will and the two do not cancel each other out. You know all, and have already predetermined all. Evenstill each person has a personal responsibility to you. Each person must exercise their free will, and whether we like it or not our being is a sum of the choices we make. We are not worth the choices we make, for our worth comes from above.

Do not get the two confused, you are worth everything to God and to one who has all of God’s Love in him. God intimately knows and has studied everything about you from before time, and he LOVES you as an individual…

Just something I typed up sitting in LAX.


P.S. Happy Independence Day


“You shall not make for yourself any idol, or any manifestation of what is in heaven above … as an object to worship.” Exodus 20:4 AMP

I’ve been a romantic long enough to know that romance is hollow. It is a real and tangible object, but it, like every other earthly offering, is too weak to lean on.

Romance can certainly be physical intimacy with another person, though physical intimacy can exist without romance. Even still, romance cannot be without connection. For too long I’ve romanticized every relationship in my life except for the one I have with God.

I’ve connected freely and openly, without reproach, holding back nothing, with romantic interests, friends, even customers; I have, however, somehow neglected the deep connections with God and family.

I… idolized friends, not because I thought they were impressive, or beautiful, or spiritual, but because they bothered even to look me in the eye. I idolized any connection I had. I’ve idolized relationships every step of my life.

It’s been about a year since I invited God to start working on this in me. I ended a romantic relationship with the revelation that I was simply being let down and not receiving the best that God has for me – again. I’ve done little to take my relationship with God and search out its mysteries. I’ve done nothing to find God in the remote places, and instead have looked to other people to fulfill my loneliness. Only when I’ve received this romance from others have I looked to God – no more; bloody no more.

Who do I obey, and which desires do I give my will over to? This question brings us back to the topic of worship. To worship something is to serve it and to mind it. Above everything in my life I minded my relationships with others as the answer to my problems. I did nothing to serve God, myself, or my family. I  served only the purpose of creating connections to satisfy my self-hatred and stress born from my lack of applied faith.

“Now Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen… Without faith it is impossible to please God… Whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them.”

Love, Frederik

Baptism Pt 1.- Not All You’ve Been Told

I’ve heard that the word “baptize” means “covered with water,” and that you cannot go to heaven if you have not been physically immersed into a body of water. We’ve heard the word “baptize” all of our lives and immediately associate it with water. However, “baptize” does not mean “immersed in water,” it simply means “immersed.”

Jesus said those who believe, and are baptized will be saved, but he did not say those who are baptized in water. In Acts 1 and again in 11, the Lord says “John baptized with water, but you shall be baptized with the Holy Spirit.” There’s a difference, and it must be made clear. If there was not a difference, and if “baptize” means “immerse in water,” Jesus would not have needed to say “baptized with water.” Thinking that this physical water baptism is a box you need to check in order to receive salvation is a dangerous deception. I make a bold claim in saying that it is a dangerous deception, but I am finding out how this ritualistic water baptism may take the place of a more meaningful, long-lasting experience.

In John 20:22, Jesus says, after his resurrection, “receive the Holy Spirit.” Later, in Acts 1:8, Jesus says “The Holy Spirit will come upon you.” In John, we are actively accepting the Holy Spirit.  Further, in Acts Jesus declares “you will receive power, when the Holy spirit has come upon you.” Jesus very clearly revels the timeline of this action of the Holy Spirit. Whereas, in John, he says “(you) receive the Holy Spirit,” not in future tense. This all becomes very confusing, especially to me, but allow me to summarize the points from the perspective of what Jesus says concerning the Holy Spirit.

First, Jesus says in John to his disciples to receive the Holy Spirit which I believe is the born again experience which was not available until Jesus died on the cross and was resurrected. Likely, neither can this be the Holy Spirit (or advocate) that Jesus spoke of in John 16, because Jesus is still on the Earth, and remains for some time, into Acts.Then, in Acts 1:8, Jesus tells his disciples that the Holy Spirit will come upon them, in future tense, meaning it has not happened yet. If in these two instances Jesus is speaking of the same interaction with the Holy Spirit, then he is contradicting himself. We know this cannot be the case.

You must make it known to yourself, that there is more to the idea of baptism beyond that with water. Read Acts 1:5 and ask God what that means for you. I know for myself how important the baptism of the Holy Spirit has been in my life. And while I have been baptized in water, that experience has not changed my life in the way that the immersion in the Holy Spirit has.

I will continue to explore what this Holy Spirit baptism means, in the mean time, consider it for yourself with purpose.


Desire-Jesus is Lord

No person can ever fulfill my heart’s desires. Never.

I aspire to do great things and be a great person. I aspire to see the twinkle in my baby daughter’s eyes, feel the warmth of my loving wife’s arms, and gather all of this world’s treasures. But none of those things will ever fulfill my deepest heart’s desires to connect with something that will never let me down.

I know these things now after several monumental failures, wherein I make connections which grow deeper with each interaction but lack discipline. Girlfriends, role models, teachers, friends, co-workers, and peers have all been recipients of my “all-in” relationship status. In the past, I’ve worked harder for the maintenance of these relationships than I ever have for myself, and while selflessness is desirable, neglecting my own health and running from discipline are what, in the end, caused me to fail in my commitments to connection. I failed again and again, and I will always find a way to fail, because that’s all I can do as a human. Failure, when it comes to commitments involving other people, are harmful to the connections made– the deeper the connection, the more harm caused.

But what is failure, when my heart’s desire cannot be measured by the standard measurements? The fulfillment of my heart’s desire to know God does not depend on anyone or anything around me. It all depends on what is within me… Without the connection I have with God every moment of my life is a failure. These moments bring no satisfaction and render no joy. They pass without notice whether “good” or “bad.” I care not, in a long-term sense, what happens to me, or what I can accomplish. My aspirations, when unrelated to God, do me no good. Realizing all of these things, I knew I had to seek God out and make commitments TO HIM in a way I’ve never done before.

I had what I’ve dubbed my “rich young ruler” moment. I came to Jesus, and asked Him, “What must I do to be saved?” (for me, it was not salvation from hell I sought, but salvation from specific certain oppressions). He told me, very distinctly, I have to give up all earthly connections, and learn to follow Him above all else- the very definition of Lordship.

Jesus is my Lord, and through Him I know the Father. There is no other way. The desire to know God deeper and deeper each day has been realized, and it is the greatest desire in my heart – bar none.

I challenge you, ask yourself-nay- ask God, “what is my greatest desire?” and “is that desire in line with Your will for me?”

John 14:19,21 – He who has my commandments and keeps them, it is he who loves Me. and he who loves Me… I will love him and manifest myself to him.”

Don’t just desire God, do something about it. Chase Him. Love Him. Obey Him. Unspeakable bliss and intimacy await those who do.


Listen to me replay the broken record which declares that Christianity is not a religion…


I do not, by necessity, need anything from anyone to fulfill my relationship with God– this simple fact is the main thing about my “christian” life that seems to differ from what other people report to have experienced.

My “religion” takes new forms day to day, not because God changes (He doesn’t) but because I change and the world around me changes. He leads me to do different things at different times because that’s either what I need or what someone around me needs. Lately it’s been a lot about what He needs from me so that I can be effective for Him to those around me.

He needs me to get my act together, eat right, exercise; be disciplined in my studies, my finances, my writing, my relationships with others and so on, not to fulfill a requirement but to fulfill a purpose. A purpose that I am fully agreeable to, but at present am certainly unprepared for, and I am unprepared because I have yet to allow God to prepare me for it.

If I were to need something from the world around me, from society, from the government, even my parents, friends or other loved ones, it would ruin the most beautiful aspect of my relationship with God– it is personal. Completely and absolutely between He and I. Whatever purpose He imparts to me within this relationship, I want to be ready for it.


With my mind I know truth to be  things like 2+2=4. As well as  technicalities that have been proven accurate or at the very least so widely accepted that no one even considers questioning them. These ‘truths’ are easy to understand, anyone can be taught these truths. Likewise, anyone can establish these facts in their own mind without any reservation concerning their accuracy. There are right answers and there are wrong answers and distinctions to these, that I make in my mind. Likewise, there are truths that are only be true for me. The distinction of these truths, I make with my spirit/heart.

My Spirit was once dormant, and so the truths that needed it’s filter were often perceived for lies and vice versa. When I saw good things, like financial success, I was tempted to think “How can that person be so selfish and greedy, can’t they see other people in need?”  But now I know that God wants me to be successful (2 Corinthians 8:9), and those people that don’t know God and are still financially successful are operating in laws that the bible talks about (Mark 11:23), whether they know it or not.

In John, before His crucifixion, Jesus tells his disciples about the Holy Spirit. In chapter 14 verse 26, Jesus sums up the Holy Spirit’s job on earth in this way: “But when the Father sends the Advocate as my representative—that is, the Holy Spirit—he will teach you everything and will remind you of everything I have told you.” Jesus is promising his disciples, which includes us, that they will not be alone on earth when Jesus leaves.

Jesus said, “He is the Holy Spirit, who leads into all truth. The world cannot receive him, because it isn’t looking for him and doesn’t recognize him. But you know him, because he lives with you now and later will be in you” (14:17).

Bear with me for a moment when I say that humans did not need the holy spirit to figure out that 2+2=4. God gave us a powerful brain for that, which is a gift that many of us have perverted by not using for God. Humans need the Holy Spirit to answer questions like, “How do I talk to my best friend about Jesus?” That isn’t a technical question, but doesn’t every question have an answer?  Truly. And for me this answer comes from only one place. The Holy Spirit.

Whether I am praising God and listening to the Holy Spirit, reading the word and seeking out the Holy Spirit, or praying and specifically asking God questions, the Holy Spirit always answers my questions. He always imparts truth into my soul that only he can give me.

What kind of truth do you need?


Thank you for your love and support

God Bless you



All scriptures from the New Living Translation


I fight many horrible things that take away from the quality of life God intended for me. I get bored and lost often, I forget what matters, and I wonder around doing only the bare minimum to get by at times. I will curse myself, beg to not be meant for more; to be OK with mediocrity. I don’t intend in part or in full to let my mind slip into this rut. Nor can I say that I enjoy any part of it. How can I let something stay in my life that I dislike? How can I voluntarily be OK with something so poisonous? At times, I simply lack purpose. I lack a driving force behind my actions.

My purpose was alive for a good part of the summer, and it took the form of school. For five weeks I had three full length classes to just absolutely destroy, which I did, and I knew exactly what to do every single moment of every day. For roughly 18 hours a week of those five weeks I worked. Roughly 9 hours a week I was in a classroom. I had tons of essays to write, subjunctive Spanish verb forms to learn, excerpts and poems to read and analyze. The list is huge and I knew every detail of it well in advance. I didn’t even think- I just did things and this made my summer a flash of lightning.

Time went by so fluidly, I mean the summer, it’s over! September is here, Fall is coming, Pumpkin spice is days away and class is already back in session. What is happening?! What have I been doing for the past week since school ended as I anticipate the fall semester? I feel as if I have been doing nothing. I have been doing things: picking up extra hours at work, starting, and finishing, several blog drafts, starting Bible School, cleaning, reading, writing, riding my bike, etc. This list is also rather extensive, and there are several productive activities presented here but in my spirit, and in my soul I feel as if I am not promoting my future as I truly desire.

I have been learning that much of what life’s composition is distraction. Seeking wealth, and a future for one’s own gain and legacy is not bad by any means, but for me it does not, independently,  fill the throbbing pit in my soul. When my purpose is not clear, even my productive activities feel unproductive. I lie awake and wonder what in the world I am doing even though I got the grades I needed, my waist is shrinking, and my bank accounts are growing. I lack a greater purpose. This always leaves me empty. I do not feel as if there is anything that I can do in my own name that is worth my time.

That may sound self-loathing, and morbid; perhaps one of the thoughts that leads me into a spiraling depression, but it is not. It is the thought which reminds me that God is the only purpose that I have ever known to fulfill me, and beyond that His is the only name that I have found to be worthy. With God, and knowing how He sees me, I can confidently say that I can be productive and know that all I do is for a greater purpose- His purpose.

Knowing God is my purpose. Knowing him and making him known. That’s what makes my God different than any other god or ‘religion’. My only purpose is to know Him. For me, that’s all I need. I can’t stand to do things when I know they are worthless. So with God and His purpose, I find value. All I do is for Him, and now I am happy. I find peace and Joy in knowing this. I seek Him and I love Him. Above all I love Him and pray that He helps me love others.

Ephesians 3:6-7       And this is God’s plan: Both Gentiles and Jews who believe the Good News share equally in the riches inherited by God’s children. Both are part of the same body, and both enjoy the promise of blessings because they belong to Christ Jesus.By God’s grace and mighty power, I have been given the privilege of serving him by spreading this Good News.

Yes, I believe the good news. Thanks to my belief, or faith, in Christ Jesus, I inherit God’s riches and enjoy the promise of His blessings. All of which are found in His word and are imparted through my, and your, personal relationship with God. In my Spirit and now in my renewed Soul I want nothing more than to bring the people I love and all the people I meet to His Good News. This is God’s plan and purpose for my life. I understand it for myself as I have elaborated and I encourage you to do the same.

Thank you for your love and support

God Bless You


Proof [for yourself]

There’s so much to confuse me; so much to distance me from myself.

I can’t express how lost I feel when my own mind challenges what I believe in my heart. It’s tit for tat. I can find a positively reinforced argument for why I should have faith, but I could also find an equally ‘reasonable’ argument for why God might not even exist… With the internet, thousands of years of history, and billions of interpretations on one subject, you can find a ‘reasonable’ argument for anything. So I decided, “I won’t let simple confusions detract from my life’s work to God’s glory.” I decided to find God without needing to convince myself that I have found Him.

In Romans chapter 12, Paul writes about proving what is the good, acceptable, and perfect will of God. Who do you suppose you should be proving this to? God? No, because he knows it already. Should you be proving to others what God’s perfect will is? Well… yes, but how can you teach something that you cannot yet fully understand? So first, you must prove to yourself what God’s will for you is. Paul writes that in order to attain this proof, you must be transformed.

Why do you need to be transformed? I needed to be transformed because I had tasted God’s goodness and at some point, I let it fall from my life. I could not bear it so I needed to live my life by God’s plan, and in order to do so I had to change my life. God changes lives- I believe that, but much like a car can change your life, it won’t do so by sitting in the driveway. You have to choose to make it work for you and use it. So I chose God. I made that choice in my mind.

I make choices everyday and they are a reflection of what I think, which is a reflection of who I am, according to Proverbs 27. If who I am is conformed to this world (today’s culture, today’s popular news, etc.), then my thoughts will be evil, and my actions will be evil regardless of my intentions because, “The carnal mind is enmity against God” Romans 8:7. I cannot please God without having a renewed mind, because my un-renewed mind cannot understand the law of God (which nowadays is grace and life through Jesus).

For renewal, I do a few things. Most importantly, I read verses like Romans 12:2, 2 Corinthians 5:17 and really all of Romans chapter 8, and I meditate on them. I pray that God will make the message verses evident to me as he sees fit. I confess them out loud to tell my body and mind what it will do. I exercise luke 6:45 (out of the abundance…) by believing, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that God has only good for me. I desire not only to be renewed in my mind, but to go as far as to be completely spiritually minded. Through all of this renewal I find my daddy God and make it a daily celebration that I know in whom my life is complete.

Then, with my renewed mind, I don’t have to wonder who my Father is. I know Him, personally, and He completes me.

“For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace” 1 Cor. 14:33

Thank you for your love and support

God Bless you



Ephesians 2:8-9
 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast.


Jesus is your salvation, He is the bridge between you and God. He brought grace into this world in place of the law. The law, that is to say ‘do this and don’t do that’, focused on the ability of men to remain righteous through our actions . Grace on the other hand, allows Jesus to step into our lives and become our salvation.

This means that when we leave this earth in death and stand before God to be judged Jesus will tell God whether or not we have received and accepted Jesus and what He has done for us. Regardless of what we do in our lives, regardless of how much we sin, if we continually acknowledge Jesus as our Lord and savior, we are saved and don’t have to suffer in Hell for eternity. Thank God!

Some great news that I have discovered is that the closer I get to God, the more I seek his wisdom and peace, the less often I sin, because I don’t want to be pulled away from Him. My spirit man is taking precedence and I am living in accordance with 2 Corinthians 5:17. I continuously acknowledge that I am a new creation and that, according to Romans 12, my mind is being renewed.

There is much to learn and much to discover in the depths of the bible and a relationship with Jesus. The beginning, however, is simple: accept Jesus and what he’s done for you. Declare Him the Lord of your life and learn to love him, as you would a best friend. The only difference is that Jesus will never betray you or let you down.

Thank you for your love and support